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My friend is REALLY good at drawing! Like, REALLY good, and I like art as much as she does but whenever I look at her drawings, I feel like I’m really bad. I just wish I could be as talented as her. I don’t do anything interesting, I don’t play piano, I don’t do sports, art is all I have but it’s getting harder to keep going, especially if I just wanna support my friend. I don’t know what to do. Mr. Bobcat: Dear 😒, I understand exactly where you're coming from! I'm an artist myself and often compare myself to other artists. What I recommend is putting a positive spin onto the comparisons. Look at their art and notice what you like about it. Get specific! If you like their line art, for example, what do you like about it? Do you like that it's "scratchy" or "bold"? Do you like the "flowiness" or "sharpness" of their lines? Then apply it to you own art! Make it an opportunity to learn! You can even ask your friend to teach you if you want. Remember that there is no such thing as perfect. Your art is amazing because it's yours. No one else can make art like yours because you make it! I would love to see your art if you upload it to the "Student Artwork" section here at Madison Rundown! Keep creating, and best of luck!
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So I told this girl I liked her and she said she likes me back before Christmas break. When I come back she said she doesn't like me. I'm super confused and lost. I tried talking to her telling her we could just be friends but now she doesn't even want to be friends with me. I don't know what to do? Mr. Bobcat: I'm so sorry! This is not an easy thing to deal with. I think for one, you kinda dodged a bullet there. If she isn't going to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, she's not worth it. I know it can be hard to let go of someone that you really like but it will become a toxic relationship if she isn't going to put in the amount of effort you are putting in. I think if you really want to make this work, you need to have an honest talk with her and try to understand why she is acting the way she is. Good luck! You look amazing today! What's your question?
It seems as though everyone in school is too caught up in their own lives to care about what's going on with other people. I myself am going through a very hard family situation and I know I'm not the only one, but it seems like no one cares about their peers. So I think that the student body should be doing more to help and care about other students. Mr. Bobcat: Dear Undefined, Thank you for writing me. I'm sorry you're going through a tough time. I think you're right--there are a lot of people that are struggling. I think we can definitely do better at watching out for others in general. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the things that we're going through, and we don't recognize the people around us. How do we fix it? Well, that's a tough one. I think we have to start with ourselves. If we set the example and go out of our way to focus on others, it will start a movement. As each person recognizes how our caring made them feel, they will do the same for someone else. The Hope Squad is dedicated to that exact thing. Please know that you can go to any of them at any time. What's Your Question?
I am not a very confident person and I want to make other friends but I think I will say something stupid and I couldn’t deal with that. I used to be so outgoing and made friends so easy but I went through a serious phase of depression for three years and now I’m so much more quiet than I used to be and I kinda hate that because I’m that one persons friends that nobody knows because all of my friends are popular and I resent myself for that some days and I tried changing my clothes and attitude to be cool and I ended up losing a group of friends that day but that’s what happens every time and I feel like I can’t change anything…😞 Mr. Bobcat: Dear Shy, When it comes to worrying about saying something stupid, try and remember that it's okay. It happens to everyone. Know you aren't alone when feeling like you aren't yourself or your friends don't seem to like the real you. It's not your fault. If anything, your friends are at fault. Try and be like how you used to be. Dive back into your memories and try and remember what you were thinking when you made friends easily and didn't worry about saying something stupid. Don't change your appearance to make others like you more, change your appearance to make you like you more. Wear what you feel like wearing. Try and find friends who don't judge you for you. I suggest trying something new. Join a completely new group that has a wide variety of people and figure out who you vibe with the most. Temporarily forget your shy self. Then see how you act with strangers who don't know you, and that's probably the real you. Remember that it's completely okay to be shy, that it's completely human to embarrass yourself every little while. Change is okay. If other people don't like you, move on to someone that does. What's your question?
I love my mom but she is always so critical of me and it makes me feel like I am ugly. I want to spend time with her and be her friend but whenever I am with her, I am scared she will notice my imperfections. she loves me but not how I look. I feel like if she had it her way, I would look way different. I wish she would just love me however I chews to look. What should I do? Mr. Bobcat: Dear Ugly, I'm so sorry you’re feeling this way. I understand how you feel, and it's a really hard feeling, but everybody has imperfections. You said you know your mom loves you but not the way you look. Personally, I think you need to try more to focus on yourself as a person instead of the way you look. Something that I think might help is to build an imaginary shield around your heart, let the negativity just bounce off, whether it's from your mom, your friends or anyone. Just try your best to not take it personally, and instead try to surround yourself with the healthy relationships in your life. I know it is hard. Another thing you could do is communicate with your mom and tell her how she is making you feel with the negative comments she makes. You got this! Remember that you are beautiful and that true beauty comes from within. Good luck! -Mr. Bobcat What's your Question?
There is this kid in my class I have a massive crush on and he doesn't really know me but the hard thing is he knows my BFF and they would look really cute together and think he likes my BFF but she doesn't like back so that makes it even harder. What do I do?! Mr. Bobcat: Hey Stressed! This is a really sticky situation you are in! My best advice would be to do what makes you happy. If your friend doesn't like him, tell him. But when you tell him, put yourself into the picture. Say something like “you deserve someone who will treat you right. Someone like me!” Tell him you like him cuz you never know what's going on in his head. He could like you back and you just don't see it. What's your question?
I’m going through a phase right now I love werewolves! I have a notebook full of drawings! But I can’t draw them as often as I used to because I’m getting judged for it. My friends keep calling them furries and sorry to any furries. I just don’t like getting teased about it. I act like it’s just a stupid joke, but it really hurts. I don’t know what to do. Mr. Bobcat: Dear Running with the Wolves, Thank you so much for reaching out. First off, I just wanted to preface this by saying that werewolves are a quality thing to like! I’m glad you are so passionate about what you love. I think that your friends judging you is wrong, but you can’t control what they say. You can only control what you do. A little bit of distance goes a long way. There are different levels of friends, and maybe these friends do not belong in the level they are at. By giving them a little bit of distance, you can feel a little better and happier. And I am not saying to cut them off or refuse to talk to them, but just be a little more conscious in what you say and do around them. You don’t even have to change the way you talk to them, but realize that they might not be as close friends with you anymore. And these friends might be great friends that you would like to keep in your life, you just might need to find the boundary that works for you. When things like this happen, you want to do what’s best for you, but you also need to be able to express yourself. Maintaining healthy boundaries is key. Maybe you might find that someone else may be a better person to be a closer friend with. Surrounding yourself with people that appreciate you, no matter the quirk, is also a great option. If they are true friends, you should be able to confront them about how you feel; they should then respect your choices and the way you acted. I know this might be hard to do, but talking to them about it is an excellent way to get your feelings across. And they also might have no idea that they are hurting you. They might think that they are having fun or that you don’t mind it. I encourage you to talk to them about it. True friends accept you for who you are and wouldn’t mind that you like werewolves. I wish you luck! What's your question?
So, I have an eating disorder. I will not eat food unless my friends and/or parents make me eat. I don’t eat because I am fat. People try to tell me I’m not but I know they’re lying. I want to just be normal and not have to worry about weight or how people see me or what they think of me, but I can’t not worry. It’s really hard. I also struggle with self-image and seriously hating myself, and I have since like fifth grade. I haven’t seriously struggled with depression a lot this year, but it is definitely a part of my past. I really just want to be normal. Not a lot of people know these things about me because I put on a mask, and I’ve gotten really good at hiding the things that happen in my life and to other people. I have the perfect life. I have a boyfriend, I'm a dancer, I can sing, I have lots of friends, and to other people I’m that girl who’s always happy and always knows what to say and gives good advice and all that stuff, and people always tell me I’m beautiful and stuff. I really want to believe them, but I can’t. People would say I’m popular, and I know for a fact that if anyone who knows me well, reads this they’ll know who I am, but people who don’t really know me would guess me as the last person for this to be. I really just needed to get this off my chest and I need some help. How am I supposed to start eating again and how do I accept myself for me and just be happy with myself? Mr. Bobcat: Dear Mask, Thank you for having the courage to let all this out. I have a few thoughts that I hope will help. First and foremost, I hope you are seeing a professional that can help you with your eating disorder. That's a big hill to climb, and it's not easy to face it alone. Second, this really comes down to your perception of yourself. It sounds to me like you can't accept compliments from others because you think they are lying. To be able to get past some of these things, you are going to have to learn to like who you are and what you look like. The truth is, there is no such thing as perfect. There is only coming to love who we are. Once we accomplish that, that inner confidence will make everyone around us see us as beautiful. How do you do that? Start with the way that you speak to yourself. I suspect that you automatically follow up any compliments with a negative thought in your head. Try to catch yourself doing that, and change the comments to positive ones. Give yourself the same grace that you would give to any other person. Please know that the Hope Squad is there to help. Mr. Becraft would be happy to just talk it out anytime you like. The same goes for the counselors and administrators as well. Don't be afraid to reach out. Good luck! What's your question?
I go to the high school but I’m really struggling. I have a lot, and I mean a lot of self-harm scars, and I’m over it, but they're just really ugly and pink and bumpy, and I don’t wear short sleeves because of it. I’m worried my crush will judge me for them because everyone I know does, and they just disgust me to look at. There are no home remedies that work and idk what to do. I haven’t worn short sleeves in public for over a year. Mr. Bobcat: Dear Vent, Thank you for writing. My heart goes out to you. This has to be so hard. First, congratulations on being able to move past the self-harm. That's no small thing! I'm proud of you. I really am. That leads me to the advice that I have for you: I want you to be proud as well. Think about what you've been able to overcome! It's nothing short of miraculous. You're amazing! I want you to recognize that you earned those scars. Those scars are a book that tell your story of strength and willingness to keep going in the face of impossible odds. Every hero that I can think of has scars that they earned while becoming the person they are. I hope you believe me when I tell you that you are my hero. I hope to become as strong as you. Some people will always look at your scars and cast judgement. Let them. Be glad that they are only jerks because they don't understand what you've been through. Be grateful that they are so ignorant; it means they haven't suffered. Lastly, please understand that you are not alone. Mental illness is the largest club in the world, but every member thinks they're the only one! I'm a member, and I'm proud to say that I stand with you. Good luck! What's your question?
I have been having a lot of self doubt. Some of my friends constantly call me fat. A few people say I'm ugly. Now don't tell me not to worry what other people think. Cause that defeats the whole purpose of trying to get a girl friend. I've done things to try to look better. But even still I'm being body shamed. Even my cousin, whose family has called me fat, and one constantly calls me ugly. I don't feel like I look fat. I don't think I look the best, so I don't know what to do. Mr. Bobcat: Dear Steak Man, I'm sorry you are experiencing this. It has to be overwhelming to keep hearing negative commentary about the way you look. This is a difficult question, because it involves so many other people that are making poor choices. The bottom line is this: you can only control yourself, not them. It's a basic human instinct to want to be loved and to belong. When we don't feel that, it hurts. My advice is to focus on yourself since you can control that. I'm not saying to just ignore them--that's not possible. I'm saying you need to get to the heart of how you feel about yourself. It doesn't matter what you look like, you're amazing. I mean that. You have to get real with yourself and recognize that others can't hurt you if you truly believe that you are perfect the way you are. Focus on positive comments in your head. When you turn to the negative, recognize it and change it to positive instead. A change in mindset could help you to overcome all the petty haters. |