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Dear Mr. Bobcat, I have been suffering with depression and suicidal thoughts, but I went to Mrs. King and I am doing better, but I would like some more advice. Mr. Bobcat: I am so happy for you! I am glad you were able to open up about your condition! I think you should continue to talk to Mrs. King. Surround yourself with people that love you. Let them know you're having a hard time and you need their love. Another way you can cope with depression is focusing on what makes you happy. If something brings you joy, do that! Have a good week and remember, you're never truly alone.
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I suffer from Autism. With that, if I'm not able to get a break in a long time I start to have overstimulation and it causes me to hyperventilate, shake a lot, and overall panic. It's just a horrible feeling. My 5th hour class is the absolute worst; our phones have to stay in a phone holder. The biggest thing that keeps me calm when I feel overwhelmed is music, and if I'm not allowed my music, how do I prevent overstimulation? I experience it everyday during 5th hour and I'm extremely tired of it. Music helps me stay calm and focused and has never distracted me in my 14 years of learning. What do I do? Mr. Bobcat: Dear Freshman, I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling overwhelmed in your 5th hour class. Overstimulation is common for people on the Autism Spectrum. A classroom setting that is suitable for a typical student may be very overwhelming for a student with Autism. The first thing I would recommend doing is talking to your 5th hour teacher about what you are experiencing. If they don’t allow phones in their classroom, maybe you can agree on another calming technique that will meet your needs, but will also not be a distraction for the rest of the class. Another option that might be helpful is a 504 plan. A 504 is a legal document that provides accommodations for students whose disabilities are negatively impacting their education. This document is often very helpful in letting all your teachers know how to help you succeed at school. Some accommodations for a student with Autism might include the ability to take breaks during class time, the ability to use noise canceling headphones when the classroom gets too noisy, or the ability to go to a calming place in the school when you are feeling overstimulated. Once a 504 is in place, teachers and school staff are required, by law, to adhere to these accommodations while you are at school. A 504 is usually written by a team of people who know you best (parents, teachers, administrators, and you) and know what you need to succeed. If you would like more information about whether a 504 would be helpful for you, talk to Mrs. LaRue in the main office. She would be happy to answer any questions you may have. What's your question?
My toxic friend keeps on apologizing and then is rude to me again. She only comes back to me to have someone to vent to and she treats me like trash half the time. how do I tell her how I feel without being mean? Mr. Bobcat: Dear What to Do, Look, I am so so soooo happy you decided to reach out. In your question, you said that you know your friend is toxic. You know your friend isn't good for you, so why do you keep them around? You say they leave you but come back just because they need to talk to someone, but this is literally the definition of an abusive friendship. The way your “friend” is treating you is not okay--100% not okay. If you want to tell them how you feel and try not to be mean about it, then I believe that you need to just tell them. If they say you're being mean or try playing the victim, it simply doesn't matter. Explain to them their behavior and how its hurting you. Don't say “You’re a toxic friend!” Instead, try saying, “When you do this, it makes me feel like this.” You need to do what's best for you and try to build up your other friendships because real friends will support you and make you feel loved and appreciated. I'm so sorry you’re going through this because toxic friendships are hard, but as long as you tell them how you feel, and you're being honest, I do think you will feel better. They may get mad or they may try to fix themselves, but the moral of the story is: you need to do what's best for you. What's your question?
Dear Mr. Bobcat i feel like I am the only furry. I'm so alone. Will you be a furry with me. I understand if you don't want to be one. I guess I'm just tired of people telling me that I am a human pretending to be a animal because I am a animal pretending to be a human. Have a meowtastic day. Mr. Bobcat: Dear, The Only One At one point or another, may people feel like strangers in someone else's body, whether that be an athletic person trapped in a disabled body or a woman trapped in a man's body. When we feel like that, we feel left out, alone, and disconnected. As my wife (Mrs. Bobcat) and I talked about this, I can tell you that the fact that we know what a furry is proves that you are not the only one! I'm sure that all the other furries in the school feel the same! It only takes a little magic to find your place in this world! The fact that you have the courage to come to me and talk about this shows that you can be the light that all furries can come to for comfort! Have a meowtastic day! -Mr. Bobcat What's your question?
Dear Mr. Bobcat, My two best friends have started whispering and not telling me what they are talking about. I feel really left out. I want to find new friends but I don't want to be leave them because I know that they will get mad at me. what do I do! Mr. Bobcat: Dear, Left Out Junior High School and High School is one of the hardest times of someone's life. In this difficult time of life, friends can be a lifeline, to confront a group of friends is hard because of something called being group stupid. Group stupid is when a group of people get together and feed off of each other's "vibes" it causes you to do things you wouldn't do alone. Maybe your friends are being "group stupid" and whispering to bug you? Confront them about this. If it is about you you should start out by setting the tone. Tell them that you need to talk to them and this is serious. Tell them if it is about you then they know why you stop hanging out with them. From personal experience being the "3rd wheel," it is hard. you are always the friend to walk behind the other two on the sidewalk. Finding a new friend is hard for some people if this is easy for you it won't be hard to justify finding new friends. In summary, tell them that it bugs you, and if they stop good job if they don't then just little by little stop showing up, don't go to lunch with them one day maybe say you are busy and not show up to something eventually they will leave you alone. -Mr. Bobcat What's your question?
How do I become more confident? I always try to not compare myself to others, but it's like every time I look in the mirror I feel ugly, depressed, and feel like a failure. I used to be confident, then I came to junior high, and everything went south. It's like anything I do I feel like I'm failing in life, and I wish I was popular and pretty and cared for. I just wish I could gain my confidence back. Any thoughts? Mr. Bobcat: Dear Happy Bean, Thank you for trusting me with this. I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. The truth is, you're not alone--many of us struggle with these same feelings. Junior high is hard! The classes are tougher, social circles matter more, and we all just want to be accepted. You are beautiful. Do you know how I know? Because you are a human being. That's enough! I know that sounds like lip-service, but I really mean it. Popularity comes and goes, but it doesn't count for anything when it comes down to it. Relationships and the way you treat other people is what counts. Give yourself the same grace to be less-than-perfect that you would give to anyone else. Find the things that make you happy, and embrace those things. Care for other people. All of those things can bring confidence. If you are feeling overwhelmed or lonely, you can always go to any member of the Hope Squad. They care. You matter. This school is better because you're in it. Thanks Happy Bean, for writing. I hope to hear from you again. What's your question?
Dear, Mr. Bobcat, So lately I don't know what to do about my friends. I have really great ones, but they are really protective and kind of excluding. For example, they will invite someone to hang out with us and then not let us bring someone we want to invite. Also, next year I'm going to be all alone because they will be moving on. So I want to make some friends my age, but I just can't seem to leave without them getting mad at me. I don't know what to do because, to be honest, I'm not very happy with my friends, but I don't want them to hate me. What should I do? Mr. Bobcat: Hey, Don't Want to Be Rude! It seems like you have some friends that don't like you hanging out with other people. If it feels that way, maybe they aren't your real friends. You might want to talk to your friends that are treating you like this and tell them how you feel about them not letting you make new friends. Since your friends are leaving next year, it would be great to make friends your age! If you have some friends your age, but are not as close with you as your old friends, maybe start hanging out with your friends that are your age so you can build a good relationship with them. I have faith in you! What's your question?
My friend wrote to you as Slightly Suspicious. I recognized her writing, and we worked what she said out. But, how do I make sure she comes to me in the future? AlI I want is for her to trust me because she's a great friend, and I don't want to lose her. Mr. Bobcat: Dear I'm Slightly Suspicious, Pleasssseee please please know how happy we are to know you and your friend were able to talk about this! We think you guys are absolutely amazing for being able to talk things out with each other and were so happy we were able to help! You asked, “How do I make sure she comes to me in the future?” and the thing is: you need to talk to her about it. Tell her how much she means to you and let her know that she CAN trust you. Honestly if you could tell it was your friend just from her writing then that proves just how close you guys are and that is a friendship you don't want to lose. We really are so proud of you guys and are happy to help! What's your question?
Should I talk to him even though he friend-zoned me???? Mr. Bobcat: Hey Boy Crazy, I'm gonna be straightforward with you. If you like him so much, and you want to be more than friends, don't just shut him out and stop talking to him. Be bold and take a risk. Tell him how you feel. But if you are uncomfortable with doing that, at least keep him around as a friend. Get closer with him. Believe it or not it is possible to get out of the friend zone! So either tell him how you feel or just be friends, but do not drop him if you like him. What's your question?
I want to know my flaws, so I can fix them, but it's so hard to know about them. I don't know how to change. I think that because someone says something, they don't actually like me or being around me. That leads to not trusting people. I feel like everyone I know is fake, and they talk about me behind my back. How should I move forward? Should I fix my flaws or shut the flaws out? I don't want anyone to think I'm a hypocrite or annoying. I also don't want to be told that flaws are part of our personalities, and we should all just dance under a rainbow of flaws. Because reality struck me; it's so hard not knowing how to help myself. Mr. Bobcat: Hi Permanent Marker! I am sorry that you are having to go through this problem. This can be hard to deal with. I think that you should try to fix your flaws. Now I know that you might not trust your friends, but you need to find someone you trust. You can trust someone when they will do anything for you and you will do anything for them. First, find a friend that will do just that. Once you find that friend, then ask them if you have any flaws. Now they might say, oh you are perfect for who you are. You need to tell them you are wanting to change to be better and you want to improve. If they still continue to say that you are perfect the way you are, insist that they tell you your flaws. After they finally tell you, ask them how you can improve them. It’s not going to be easy to improve and find this friend, but once you do, your life will change drastically. I give you the best of luck on your endeavors. May the odds be ever in your favor! |