DEAR MR. BOBCAT
What's your question?
My parents were divorced like 8 years ago, and I had to go to my dad's, but he is not a nice person. I told him why I didn't want to go, and he asked me every day, Why do you not want to be here?
Before anything, you need to know: THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. There are so many reasons and complications with divorce, but the child is never one of them. However, the situation won't change overnight, so try these ideas to gradually improve your relationship with your dad:
1. If he's asking why you don't want to be there, you could just...tell him. As scary as that sounds, as long as you use statements that have to do with you ("It makes me..." or "I feel...") instead of accusing him, it should go over more smoothly. When people are being "attacked" (even if it's worded in the nicest way possible,) their automatic response is to get defensive, and that never leads anywhere. Stay calm, express your concerns, but don't get caught up in the blame game.
2. Turn to a different adult. While friends are super important, and you should definitely lean on them, talking to someone with more experience can help you feel a lot better. It could be your grandparents, a church leader or coach, or even the school counselors.
3. Have a place where you can go to be alone. Everyone needs to get away from the stress of life sometimes, and that's okay! It will help you feel more comfortable if there's a place you can go to if things start to become too hectic.
No matter what happens, find support from people you care about, and know that this situation won't last forever (even if it seems that way.) Try to talk it out calmly, and most importantly, remember that you are not the cause of your current situation. Stay hopeful!