Plain Jane

What's your question? 

I have self esteem issues. I do not think very highly of myself. My mom says I am beautiful... (I'm pretty sure all moms are required to say that) But I just cannot believe it! I don't think I am necessarily ugly, but I'm definitely NOT beautiful. I'm just, well, plain. I don't think any guy has any interest in me--of course that shouldn't matter, but it really hurts. How can I get more confident in myself?

Mr. Bobcat:

Hello Plain Jane! Now let me tell you something, and I'm going to be very straightforward… you're absolutely beautiful, in every way possible, and I mean it. You struggle with your self esteem, and I understand how that feels, but when you are constantly putting yourself down saying, “I’m not pretty” or “They're so gorgeous, I wish I looked like them,” but saying those negative comments about yourself aren't going to help your confidence. Something I always say is  “Comparing kills confidence” and it's true. The more we compare ourselves to other people, the less happy we are going to be. Maybe guys aren't interested in you right now, but honestly…. WHO CARES?!?! Why should you base your value off of what an immature teenage boy thinks? Your worth should not be determined by what other people think, and yes it's hard, but try to focus on everything you love about yourself. I'm not talking appearance-wise, I mean personality traits and just the way you treat people in general. The key to getting confidence is to love yourself. Loving yourself is so so so important--I cannot express it enough. You are beautiful. Don't let society tell you otherwise.