What's your question?
I just feel so alone. A lot of people know me because of the position I have in school, and every adult tells me I'm an excellent young woman, but no one understands me. I had this one friend in 7th grade and me and him were super close but then he moved. Then I had this guy friend, and we liked each other, but then he stopped talking to me. Was it my fault? What should I do? I feel like I've made so many terrible mistakes. How can I feel happy again? I've tried everything to talk to him, but he doesn't say much. I just wish I knew why we grew so distant when we would talk about a lot of deep things. I feel so alone when I'm surrounded by people. Please help!
It sounds like you have a couple different problems here. Let's break it down:
First off, the end of a relationship is often not the fault of only one person. There are so many factors in these types of things that it doesn't do much good to try to pinpoint each one and try to fix it. Instead, continue trying to talk to him and be friendly. Realize that when people become "more than friends" and try to get things back to "normal," it simply doesn't work that way; however, this can make your relationship stronger. Try talking to him, being completely honest. Communication can work wonders. Do everything you can to be a good friend to him, and if he continues to push you away, try strengthening other friendships and spending time with those who truly care about you.
Secondly, you are definitely not the only one who feels this way about your life. Try as we might, we cannot understand exactly what someone is going through. It's exhausting to keep up an image all the time, or have multiple for different situations. Instead of stressing yourself out, use the classic advice: BE YOURSELF. If people think you're an exceptional young lady, it's for a reason -- and that's not part of the person you feel like you're expected to be. Expectations are hard to keep up with, so put simply, don't try to. Making mistakes is something everyone does, whether they are visible or not. And comparing yourself to others doesn't do anything, anyway. Contrary to what a lot of people believe, self-esteem does not come from outward approval. Be okay with yourself first, and talk to your situation about someone you trust. No matter how hard it is, you will feel better afterwards, and not so alone. That being said, don't expect to feel better right away. Happiness isn't something you just get; it's something you gain.
Be open and honest, be patient, and, overall, just be you.