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Make New Friends... Keep the Old?

10/27/2020

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What's your question?
I got really close with a group of girls in middle school, but we've slowly drifted apart over the years, and now it's awkward whenever I see them. They're all such funny and nice people, and we went to each other's birthday parties and everything. I know this kind of thing happens, and I'm okay with not being really good friends with them anymore. I just hate feeling so weird and isolated from people I used to be such good friends with. Should I just let it be, or say hi to them once in a while?

Mr. Bobcat:
Man, this is a hard one! We've all been through this on some level, and it's really hard. Feeling the separation of old friends hits us right in the heart. Here's my advice: The fact that you still have positive things to say about them tells me two things: 1) You're a good person; and 2) They must be as well for you to like them still. So, treat them like nice people. You're probably itching to have a good heart-to-heart with them to find out what happened, but that won't help. The junior high raises the bar for social status and group dynamics, but don't have to play the game. When you see them, smile (like you mean it) and say, "Hi." Treat them as if they are still friends. If they don't reciprocate it, it's not because there is something wrong with you, it's because they have chosen to play the social game. In the end, we all love the person that is genuinely kind to everyone else. Be  that person!
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