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My mom is always comparing me to other people, trying to give me people to look up to, but it just hurts. She does it a lot, and I don't want to tell her that it upsets me, but she will compare me to my sister, how she does things better than me, and it really hurts. I already feel like I don't do enough for her, and she sets her expectations very high, and most of the time I can't reach them. Any Ideas on how to reach her standards?
Dear High Expectations,
Hi! First I’d like to start out by saying you are not alone in this--my mom is crazy about my grades and chores and all that stuff, so I definitely know how to help.
I think the best thing you can do is to talk to your mom. She just wants the best for you and can sometimes not be able to see that it's affecting you. Sitting down and talking to her is probably the best way to tell her that you feel like her standards are too high. Maybe try telling her you’ve been trying your best and that you’re working very hard. You could tell her you think her standards make you feel hurt and you're not comfortable with her comparing you to other people.
Our relationships with our parents can be hard, but we can always do something to make them better even if the parent doesn’t treat you with respect. This is a problem that can probably be solved by just having a discussion. I know that's not always easy, but it can strengthen your relationship with your parents by showing them that they can learn things from you.