A Time I Felt Lost

by Anonymous

​I'm here to write about a time I was lost. This was a big part of my life. Let's just start from the beginning. It started off when I was a little kid. I've always been the kid that's super close to my dad. He was and still is my best friend. Then when I was about 4 years old, my dad was diagnosed with brain tumors. This was a very hard time for me. He is my best friend, and even though I was very little, it was still very hard for me to hear that. I would overhear my parents talking about if the tumors were cancerous, and when you hear cancer at such a young age you automatically think the person is just going to pass away. So that made me develop some severe anxiety at such a young age. I just wanted to spend as much time with my dad as possible. As I grew up I realized how much the time I spent with him was so valuable. Every moment is so valuable, from the big fights to us in the car blasting our favorite songs. 
A few years later he was diagnosed with a disease called Acromegaly. It was very hard for a 10- year-old me to hear. But it just made our moments together that much more valuable. Me and my dad have been through a lot together and I think that it just made me and him so much closer. Just last year there was an incident where I was sexually attacked. With that going on and with my dad being sick, I just felt so lost. I started cutting and thinking about suicide. But my dad stuck with me the entire time. He never left my side. My dad has also been through a sexual attack experience and he knew exactly how it felt to go through that. He brought me back to a place where I can think about the incident and I can just brush it off. Don't get me wrong, it was a very hard thing to go through, but now it doesn't bug me anymore. 
My dad is my hero and he always has been; he has been my best friend and my dad in one. I will always cherish the moments and memories with him. I will never forget the long car rides and him teaching me how to drive and blasting music, or just sitting in my room at 2 a.m. just talking trying to make me feel better. I could never forget how he taught me how to be independent and to just focus on myself and don't worry about what other people think about me.  I hope that when the time comes, he will be able to walk me down the aisle and hold his first grandchild. He has brought me out of a bad place and made me truly happy again. I don't know what I would do without him.